I've been coming and going from Austin inside some freaky vortex for fourteen years. It seems once you come you can never leave. Sure I've been able to leave for a brief time but something always calls me back. The women. The drugs. The city itself.
This time I've returned determined to conquer them. I've often been one of the dredges, Wingnuts, or Drag rats which comes chock full of their own labels but, at heart, I've been an animal lover and artist.
I believe i'll be able to get a job in animal care and avoid those things that brought me down, but who knows... I come from a school that says drugs are fine as long as you can afford them... problem is most don't know what they cost.
So far I've been off the bus for fifteen minutes and I've seen the same home bums I've always seen working in their zones.... an influx of wingnuts too.
Some things dont really change here as much as they are devoured by the new. A lot of high rises have popped up and institutions have fallen.
I've been back a weekend and am broke. My generosity has often been a thorn in my side and this time hasn't been much different. Running into Elliott (an old friend) and spending my money on him and his, ineptly named girlfriend, Joy was a big mistake. Cautiously enjoying my old habits were another.
And now there's "Stick" (k8) or basically a designer drug in a smoked (joint) form that has become a worse epidemic than crack here.
It's pretty bad when the crack heads feel bad for you.
I hate Stick. The way it smells (Like wandering into an unclean hippies house or like sweat and marijuana seeds) the way they act and what it does to them.
Today I'm trying the day labor route to try and soften my overdraft fees. It's less demeaning than flying a sign but not by far. The worst part is listening to the idiots talking about God over my head and leaning towards me.
Shut up already!
And it's basketball season... which is only going to make these conversations worse.
Well... that's it for now.
Until next time; I'll be judging you.
Sincerely, V
